A Celo Friends Meeting Primer

On Queries

By Debra Rice

Once a month a new question for reflection appears on the chalkboard at the door to our worship space. It is also read by the clerk at the beginning of that meeting for worship. While this practice of offering a question as a potential guide for reflection is found in many spiritual traditions, it does seem like a very “Quaker” thing to do. Quakers have used queries to guide personal experience of silence, to challenge life’s choices, and even, to greet one another. But what gift is there in continuing this long tradition?

For me, that gift reflects my experience with maps. Sometimes when I travel, one of the first things I grab is a map. Yes, a real hands-on map. Perhaps my journey will be long or to a new place, and I am feeling just a bit timid. Having a map with all the possible roads and land features can ease my fear. I can “see” the wider geography and get my bearings when I feel lost. That is often my experience when working with queries.  In the wonderful expanse of mystery, a query can give me a “landmark” from which to explore. Maps can also challenge me to make unplanned stops or detours on my journey. In those unexpected visits, my life can be made so much richer and deeper. Queries do that too.

There are also times when my travels into the deep gift of Light do not need a map, when I do not seem to need a query from which to launch my journey. But even in those times, queries can bring a different, deep gift. That is the profound gift of vulnerability within a community.

Author Walter Brueggemann, writing in An Other Kingdom, expresses this well.

“The practice of listening brings people together. It reminds us that we are not alone. When people gather, the right questions bring the sacred into the room—questions of connections, not opinions. If you bring questions of depth, questions that are personal, the experience of being together shifts. When we ask questions that are an invitation to hear each other, something is created. The Quakers understand this…. The question itself has force, spiritual force. It creates a clearing. It enables people to hold open the space for listening and depth. A good question always initiates this. Good questions can be considered as sacraments of silence.”

I am grateful for this tradition of queries. When I am led to let a query guide me, my journey is always richer.

Clearness Committees

Catherine Peck

In most spiritual traditions, a person is appointed by a governing body to lead individual congregations. The rabbi, imam, pastor, priest, pandit, or lama not only oversees rituals; he or she is available to help congregants when personal matters arise. A couple seeking to marry, a person wanting to join the congregation, members who are in conflict, or one struggling with spiritual questions can call on the leader for help.

The Society of Friends was founded on the understanding that the wisdom of God cannot reside in one individual. Each one of us has the resources within to discover the will of God for ourselves. That does not mean, however, that we should work out our spiritual issues alone. Early Friends described the importance of testing any leading not only by praying for guidance, but by seeking the wisdom of the community and the wisdom of scripture (which in modern times might include the writings of Friends and other spiritual seekers as well as the Bible.) These were called the three legs of a firm seat.

And so when members or attenders of a Quaker meeting seek guidance, a clearness committee forms to help them hold their issue in the Light and discern the truth that will lead to spiritual clarity. A clearness committee never tries to provide foregone answers to spiritual questions. No one will ever say, “I believe you have reached clearness.” Rather, Friends will ask, “Do you feel that you have reached clearness?” Friends believe that the answers lie within the questioner, and the Light will reveal them. 

In Celo Friends Meeting, the clearness process begins when a member or attender asks the Ministry and Care committee for help. Ministry and Care will identify two or more Friends to serve on a clearness committee and will ask one of those members to act as convener. The convener might ask the “focus person” for more details, possibly in writing, and he or she might confer with other committee members to make up a list of questions that will help the clearness process. Then the convener will set a time and place for a meeting. After the meeting, it is up to the friend(s) seeking guidance to decide whether to meet again.

Most commonly, clearness committees are formed when a person feels led to join the Society of Friends or when a couple feels led to be married under the care of the meeting. In fact, the meeting considers clearness to be necessary in those two instances. Celo Friends Meeting will also form a clearness committee for those seeking guidance around marriage even if they do not plan to be married under the care of the meeting. Attenders who have joined the Society of Friends at another meeting and want to transfer their membership to CFM don’t need to go through the clearness process, but the meeting will provide a clearness committee if it is requested.

Clearness committees have also been formed for people feeling led to take radical action based on their religious beliefs or their political and social beliefs, as well as for couples struggling in their marriages or with a decision on whether to have children. Friends have sought clearness when they are in conflict with someone in or outside the meeting; when they are contemplating a job change; are feeling the need to move away; or need to take steps to live more simply. Difficult decisions and seemingly insoluble problems can be resolved when held in the Light and held by the community.

Ministry and Care holds all requests for clearness in confidence, and clearness committee members agree to keep absolute confidence as well. Requests for membership in the Society of Friends and CFM will be reported to the Meeting for Business once the clearness process is complete. Likewise, requests for marriage under the care of the meeting will be reported once the couple has reached clearness. Meeting members who request meeting approval for a traveling ministry will report to the Meeting for Business that they have reached clearness after a clearness committee has met. No other clearness committees are reported on or discussed with the wider meeting or the wider community.

Clearness committees serve the meeting by helping individuals discern the truth of their spiritual leadings and by bringing problems that are being held in darkness into the Light. As members and attenders grow more confident in their spiritual lives within the community, so the meeting grows to the benefit of all.  For guidance on whether a clearness committee can help you on your journey, contact any member of Ministry and Care.  

For more information, a wonderful video on the subject of clearness committees is available at https://quakerspeak.com/quaker-clearness-committee/

Becoming a Member of CFM

Gib Barrus, Co-Clerk

Membership in Celo Friends Meeting is sometimes misunderstood.  Friends believe it is important that each person choose their own spiritual path without being pressured, so we probably don’t talk about membership frequently enough. 

Those of us who gather on First Day Morning are either guests, members, or attenders.  In a gathered meeting, we each have the same responsibilities—to mind the Light, attend to the messages that are shared, and discern whether a message that arises within us should be shared aloud with the group.

Celo Meeting has always been a welcoming place for people of many spiritual paths.  It is important to us that it remain so.  Some people have attended Celo Friends Meeting for years and never felt led to join the Meeting.  Many of these attenders contribute greatly to the life of the Meeting. Others have decided that Celo is their spiritual home and ask for a Clearness Committee to explore membership.  There is no right or wrong way to be a part of the Meeting, but there are different ways.  If you feel like Celo Friends Meeting is your spiritual home and you would like to formally join the Meeting, feel free to discuss this with a Clerk or a member of the Ministry & Care Committee.

Membership in the Society of Friends (being a Quaker) is always through membership in a specific meeting.  There is no at-large membership.  Every Friend has a home meeting.  When we move to a new area and start participating in a new Meeting, we can ask to have our membership transferred.

Historically Friends have recognized birthright membership.  This means that children of members of the Meeting are automatically enrolled as members.  At Celo we have decided that as children grow up, they need to make their own decision about their spiritual path.  When a child of the meeting becomes an adult, they may choose to meet with a Clearness Committee and seek their own clearness for membership.

If you are an attender at our Meeting and feel like Celo Friends is your spiritual home, please consider joining the Meeting.

How do I center down into Meeting for Worship?

Everyone who enters Meeting for Worship centers down in a different way. In early 2024, the Ministry & Care Committee asked a number of people to describe their process. Below are some of the replies.

• Centering for worship is an ever-changing process for me.  As a human, thoughts and feelings get in the way of being open to the leadings of the spirit.  Some days, I am more open than others. I usually start my centering by being present in the moment.  I ask myself what sounds am I hearing; how is my breathing; how is my heartbeat?  Then, it’s usually a sound that leads my heart to be directed.  It’s like I’m on a raft in an unknown river; I surrender and ride wherever the “Spirit river” leads me. 
• I enjoy noticing who is present in the Meetinghouse. I hold each of them and all of us in the Light. I close my eyes. I can see a central kind of light while my eyes are closed which can help me focus. I notice my breath. My mind wanders and I work to put mundane thoughts aside. This is ongoing throughout MFW. It helps to remember the present moment—the fact that the present moment is all we really have. I listen to others’ messages with intention to have an open mind, open heart. I listen for what God asks of me. What might I be asked to do that is out of my comfort zone?  (If we have grandkids joining us I am very distracted!) 
• In the beginning, I had a hard time centering down into worship, as it meant risking glimpses of old memories as I descended, scenes and feelings too unpleasant to revisit. But with regular practice, week after week, month after month, those fears slowly abated; the reward of the deep silence was too attractive. Once I felt sturdier, I began turning my attention outward, noticing who was arriving, silently greeting each person, until I felt myself inside a circle of love, of earnest, listening-hard people. These days, I tend to begin by reciting a poem—usually e.e. cummings’ “I thank you God for most this amazing day” or maybe a Mary Oliver or an Emily Dickinson; other times I start with a prayer, sometimes as simple as “Dear God,” and then I feel so tenderized by the phrase that deep abiding with Spirit can come quite quickly. It’s trickier when I’m in the role of clerk, when I’m more attentive to what’s happening among the gathered; then I tend to start with a more specific prayer, such as, “If someone senses a message rising, help me hold that person so they can be faithful to it; if a message arises in me, help me find the courage to say it.” 
• I enter the Meeting House and sit where I can look out at the beautiful woods that are so close and focus on realizing that I am part of nature and a tiny part of the universe.  Breathing slowly, I quiet my mind and become present in the moment, listening for any message or intuitive thought that may come my way.  I resume this after listening to anything that is spoken and reflect on what I have heard.  
• In the early silence of the Meeting, I listen for the sounds of the fire, sparking, settling, all the nuances of its sounds. I notice the sounds of footsteps as they enter and silently welcome each new set. I begin then to create an image of us all there together with our breath rising and invite the Divine to be very present with us. Often I have a line of a poem or something I’ve read become a focus, somewhat like Lectio Divina. I keep returning to the phrase “inviting the Divine to be present” and noticing how the phrase changes and more is revealed. Other times I’m focusing on supporting and accompanying all those around me, with a private prayer of encouragement for the others wrestling with or receiving a message. I often return to the words “Listen” and “Trust” as touchstones.
• Exchanging a brief word with the greeter of the day helps me prepare for worship.  I also stop to remind myself of the query of the month.  I try to arrive in time for the singing.  If there is time for me to choose a hymn, I like to choose ones I remember singing as a child.  I also like the ones that I have learned the bass part for.  Some of my most emotional moments in worship have been in response to singing together. As I settle into the silence, I take note of who else is here.  I try to focus briefly on each person.  Sometimes I am reminded of a conversation I hope to have with someone. I try to file that away for later.  There are times that my mind is full, and I have a hard time centering.  Repeating a word in the manner of centering prayer can help.  If a message comes to me, it can take most of a meeting to discern whether the message is for sharing, and how to distill it to its essence. 
• I meditate and practice Tai Chi in the morning, to relax and center myself and integrate mind and body. I try to arrive by 10:30, in time to drop off my potluck dish and settle in for the hymn-singing with the children. I notice who is present, especially the children and new folks, counting heads around the Meetinghouse. As we settle into worship, I look around to gather the joy of fire, trees, wind, and sky. I sit up with straight back, both feet on floor, and hands in my lap, deepen my breath and still my mind. I begin repeating my mantra “I bow to the Spirit within,” or other phrases that come to me. Truth that arises may come from the query or shares by others or contemplations during the week. If a Truth arises repeatedly, I let it ripen and ask myself, “Is it True? Is it Kind? Is it Helpful? Is it the right Time and Place?” When my mind and heart become clear and I’ve waited a few minutes after someone else has spoken, I stand to speak, remembering to speak loudly since I’m often softspoken. I speak my Truth briefly, trusting any other words that arise, then sit down. I often am shaky after, so again breathe deeply to calm and center myself.